Last year, we lost both my paternal grandpa to cancer and grandma to a stroke within two months of each other. I didn’t cry. I didn’t grieve.
I was too busy.
Too busy to take the time to mourn or celebrate the life of my grandparents.
I was working my ass off to make them proud, to live up to my family name and it didn’t even occur to me that I should take the day off to be with my parents and family because you know I am all about that #hustle (seriously wtf)
Then something happened last week.
David Bowie died.
People around the world took the time to talk about his passing and I felt like my beating heart had been ripped out of my chest.
I didn’t understand it at first. I love his music but I had never met this man in real life or seen him perform live but I felt so incredibly sad. For a week I walked around like a zombie, what was this feeling?
And then it dawned on me, I was finally, after a year, coming to terms with my grandparents passing. I was mourning the time I didn’t take to say goodbye to them and all the calls I missed when they wanted to talk to me because I was oh so god damned busy.
I am sad about Bowie but I am also grateful for the realization albeit late.
Rest in peace Bowie. I hope his family and loved ones find peace. Thank you for your music.
2 thoughts on “Death, loss and coming to terms with it”
Transferred mourning is pretty powerful and it’s even better when you realize why your feelings are out of portion to the event at hand. I am sorry for your loss even if it’s a bit late.
Thank you for your kind words Kate. I have never experienced something quite like this.
Now that I have come to terms with it, I feel a thousand pounds lighter. I am celebrating them as well as Bowie.