Writing was like breathing to me. Something that I needed to survive but…
I don’t know at what point I stopped writing at all.
I think I let love get the better of me. Love… love?
It’s gone now anyways. Well not quite. Love knocks again and again.
In different shapes and forms.
What will happen? I don’t know.
but I am here to stay.
After all, what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger right? right?
They never do get you anywhere, now do they? We all lie from time to time. Don’t even bother denying it. You know you have. Heck, I know I have.
None of us are perfect but there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed, people who shouldn’t be hurt and things that shouldn’t be said or done.
When you claim to love someone, why lie?
You are sitting in a cafe, with your head in your hands, the cold wind sends chills up and down your spine. You shiver but the storm that is raging inside you renders you motionless, so much so that you do not even want to move to a warmer spot.
You sit and you wonder. Why are they lying to you? Is it necessary?
You start to question yourself. Do I intimidate him? Why does he feel the need to lie to me? All I ever did was to love him. Is that such a bad thing? You sit and wonder and that’s precisely what you have been doing for the past few months.
Every time you muster up the courage to call him out on his lies, something gets in the way. Maybe it’s your need to be loved or maybe you are just plain stupid, you can’t decide which.
All you know is that you love him and that you are afraid. So very afraid.
Afraid to lose him. Afraid that no one will care. Afraid that everything will cease to make sense.
Afraid. Yes, that’s what you are. Why though?