I started this site two years ago as a part of the Nanowrimo project. Over the last two years, we have gone through so much. Heartbreaks, love, school, breakups, make ups and everything in between. Also, blogging awards!
For some time I wanted to focus on my other site but I think I am going to come back to this and do what I liked doing best. Just writing. So here I am and I hope to reconnect with all of you again!
Writing was like breathing to me. Something that I needed to survive but…
I don’t know at what point I stopped writing at all.
I think I let love get the better of me. Love… love?
It’s gone now anyways. Well not quite. Love knocks again and again.
In different shapes and forms.
What will happen? I don’t know.
but I am here to stay.
After all, what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger right? right?
I did not choose this for myself. Maybe it came to me.
Maybe I went for it.
All I can tell you is that it was not a conscious decision.
I dreamt of a time… I dream of a time when I will meet someone who will want to do things with me… for me… or just be with me just because I am me.
This is nothing to do with relationships.
I don’t know what it is.
There is an inherent sadness to it.
A kind of sadness that depletes your energy level. A kind of sadness that makes you want to disappear and never talk to anyone ever again.
This kind of sadness just needs to go.
I have tried… tried to dissociate myself from the situation… tried to think happier thoughts but in the end it’s the incoherent ones that take over.
At the beginning, I thought I was collecting the pieces.
At the beginning… I thought I could be the one to help…
…but as time passed a realization came.
A realization that I was indulging in a very selfish form of love…
…Not the selfless kind I dreamed of but the kind that destroys you and leaves you hollow…
Maybe it’s time to let go…
…and maybe… just maybe it’s time to say goodbye.
Everything happens for a reason… even insanity…