10 Things I am Grateful For

I was chatting with my mom last night and was complaining about something and mom said, instead of complaining about things that you don’t have or things that are going wrong, be thankful for things you have.

That really made me think. We get so caught up in things that we don’t have that we forget all the blessings bestowed upon us on a daily basis.
With that in mind, here is my list of 10 things I am grateful for. I’d love to see your list too 🙂

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1. My family
Family is always first. Mom, dad, Hubster, Sisbug…I love you all more than I can ever express and I am extremely thankful to have you in my life.

2. Health – seriously health is everything

3. Good Friends
I am blessed with so many wonderful friends in my life.

4. Love of learning
My parents have instilled a love of learning in me that I am extremely grateful for!

5. Life experiences
I have lived quite the life in my 29 years on earth and I am thankful for every single experience, both good and bad.

6. Books
I mean for real though! Thank the lord for this!

7. The ability to feel
I am an extremely emotional person but I am beginning to realize that is a strength and I am embracing it fully!

8. Career
I have a great work fam and a career I love!

9. Food, Water, Safety

10. Love
I love therefore I am.

P.S: I am back from Vegas! So I will be getting back to my normal blogging schedule – all day errry day!
Should I do a Vegas recap post on here?

Arranged Marriage and Sex

Today I heard something that made me cringe and I feel the need to share it.

Where do I even begin…

Where I come from, arranged marriage is the norm. Most people have their parents select a life partner for them and for many that works…

… or they make it work for themselves.

What I heard today was that it is alright to have your husband tie you up in order for him to consummate YOUR marriage even if you are in pain and don’t want to do it… cause you know obviously it is all about him!

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This coming from a 20 something year old terrifies me even more.

Everyone I have known who has had an arranged marriage, has had a baby roughly 9 months after.

There is nothing wrong with having a baby and I am not bashing the idea of an arranged marriage, I know it works for some people.

I am neither for or against arranged marriage. I think it is a personal decision you need to make for yourself but you should definitely not be forced into it. Assuming that you are happily deciding to let your parents take the lead in finding a partner for you, I don’t want to comment on that or talk about it.

What I do want to talk about is SEX.

What was that? The collective sound of many people’s salwars getting in a bunch?

It is 2016 and we still can’t talk about sex.

It is not just about sex…

We are unable to talk about anything related to sex… puberty, sex education. Entire chapters in biology textbooks on sex are skipped because it is seen as something that is shameful and awkward.

…and then you get married and suddenly there is all this pressure to consummate your marriage and have a baby.

Sure, some people claim to get educated by porn, but tauba tauba we don’t watch that! (Sidenote: porn has it’s own problems – I am not entirely sure if that is where people should be getting their daily dose of sex education from.)

Ladies and gentlemen, it is never ok to be forced into sex, married, in a relationship or otherwise. THAT’S RAPE.

You’d think people would know that but many don’t.

If you think you need to have sex with someone just to appease them, even when you don’t want to… you don’t.
Consent is key but you can’t manipulate someone into giving consent either.

Mothers,  Fathers… please don’t force your daughters to consummate their marriage. Give them time and space. Educate them. Let them know it is ok to not want to have sex the day they marry someone.

Unfortunately, there are those who have been forced into having sex themselves but that does not mean we need to pass the same thinking down the generations.

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

Girls, know your rights. Don’t let someone force you.

Men, you don’t have to prove your masculinity by forcing a woman into having sex with you. You don’t have to prove anything.

For generations, we have been told that the wedding night sets the tone for the marriage.

YOU set the tone for your marriage.

Treat each other with love and respect. Forget what you have been told by people or the expectations set by others.

Other people don’t need to live your life – You do.

20 things I have learnt after a year of marriage

Today marks C’s and mine first wedding anniversary. A year ago today I couldn’t believe my sheer dumb luck that I was marrying someone I was head over heels in love with.
Here we are, a year later and I wanted to share 20 things I have learnt after being married for a year – with tons of input from C as well!

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  1. It is possible to love someone without losing yourself.
    I am madly in love with my husband and those closest to me know that. He is my raison d’être but each day that I fall more in love with him, I fall more in love with myself too.
    I feel like I am the most productive, successful and the happiest I have ever been in my life.
  2. To love someone else you have to love yourself first
    If you start with loving yourself first, you start by being in good place and it is only rainbows and sunshines and unicorns from there on! :p
  3. Love isn’t a competition
    When your relationship is a competition, that’s not love. Supporting each other is the shit.
  4. We are different people with different preferences but that doesn’t mean we have to fight.
    The goal is not to be one amorphous blob with similar likings and opinions! We have our differences and we love each other for them.
  5. You don’t have to fight to get closer to each other or to have a more interesting relationship.
    LOL. If I had a penny for every time I have read that fights bring people closer together, I’d be rolling in $$$!
  6. The passion doesn’t fizzle away after a while
    …neither is it something you have to work on like it is some kind of a household chore.
  7. Being married is the shit!
  8. There is nothing quite like having someone in your life who has always got your back!
  9. The happiness level of your relationship isn’t dependent on the size of the rock that you get for your engagement
    9 our of 10 times that I tell people that I am married, I am immediately asked to show my ring. LOL! I don’t get it. I don’t have an engagement ring. I wear a wedding band that C and I picked together. It is a dainty little gold band that cost us $99 and it is my favourite ring in the world!
  10. It is possible for your parents to love your significant other more than you :p
    Mum & Dad I am looking at you.
  11. When you find your person, you just know it
  12. There is such a thing as true love and soul mates
    Some might not agree but it happened to us. Oh the stories I could tell you…
  13. A year later and the same jokes are still funny
  14. You never get tired of telling your own love story
    People may get tired but not us!
  15. When you have someone who has got your back, everything in life is easy
  16. He gets sexier with each passing day. HOT DAMN!
  17. There is nothing I don’t love about him. He is smart, funny, caring and the best human being I have ever met in my life.
  18. I don’t like roses
    They die.
  19. In-laws are not scary beings you need to run away from
    Mine are the fuzziest!!!!
  20. Communication & Honesty are the keys to a happy relationship, a happy marriage and a HAPPY EVERYTHING!

This post has C’s stamp of approval!!! 😀

Week 1 of 2016 – Progress, Food & More

Middle of the first week back at work and I thought that it was time for some reflections.
Goals wise, the week is going pretty well. I have achieved two of my standalone goals and I am on my way to achieve the ongoing goals. Not doing so good on the yoga goals but I am going for yoga at the AGO tomorrow and am pretty stoked about that.

1. Cook a meal at home once a week.
2. Launch my etsy store
3. Learn one new recipe from my mother
4. Do yoga twice a week. 
5. Read The Sun Also Rises 
6. Blog once a week
7. Do one book review a month
8. Try out a new cafe per month
9. Write in my diary every morning

10. Relax

Downloaded Sloan Crosley’s “The Clasp” on my kindle and Screen Shot 2016-01-06 at 9.35.35 PMstarted reading it on my train ride to work this AM. So far, so good. I think it is going to end up being my book review for the month. It is basically chick lit & I can’t believe I am starting my year off with that but oh well I do enjoy a good romantic comedy once in a while.
Note to self: Kindle books don’t photograph half as well as real books… ok NOT AT ALL!

For the food goal, I pan fried rainbow trout! It is simple but delicious. It was my first time trying it out too. I didn’t want to do anything too complicated, so I used a pinch of sea salt and some ground black pepper for seasoning and ta da!

I bought only onScreen Shot 2016-01-06 at 9.35.19 PMe fillet because I didn’t know if the taste would suck but then I realized that C had to eat too 😉 so I improvised. Made spinach, mushroom omelette to go with it! Strange I know but delicious yum yum!

And then there was the matter of trying out a new cafe per month and I did! My friend Jaclyn was in town from Vancouver and we decided to check out Te Aro cafe in Leslieville.

Admittedly, I had a cup of green tea and an apricot biscuit (DELICIOUS) but hey! you can tell a lot about a place from the type of tea it serves. Contrary to popular belief, you can indeed fuck up a cup of tea.
Screen Shot 2016-01-06 at 9.35.06 PMIt is a cute little cafe in Queen East and is definitely worth a visit. I imagine in the summer it will be even nicer with the patio and all that jazz. Reasonable prices, not a ton of space so I don’t really know if I will take a book along with me on my next visit.

Apart from that, I just feel like I am not out of vacation mode yet. I miss Montreal, book shopping and hiking with C.

Goal #6 achieved for this week.

To Hell and Back Again

Writing was like breathing to me. Something that I needed to survive but…

I don’t know at what point I stopped writing at all.

I think I let love get the better of me. Love… love?

—–

Yes love.

It’s gone now anyways. Well not quite. Love knocks again and again.

In different shapes and forms.

What will happen? I don’t know.

but I am here to stay.

After all, what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger right? right?

Right.

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Familiarity

At the start, there was a conversation…

A conversation you now wish you could recall, but all you can recall, is his smile.

There was something about that smile that was unbearably attractive. He was not a handsome man by any standards, but it was that smile, you tell yourself.

‘What was it about him that was attractive?’, you often ask yourself, but seem to find no answer.

You think you are going insane. It makes no sense after all.

Your friends tell you, it’s not you, it’s him. But that’s what friends do, they say things to make you feel better. ‘No’, you tell yourself, it was definitely him.

You pen down yet another entry in your diary. Cross out his name a couple of times and tell yourself, ‘it will be ok.’

In the morning there will be assignments to hand in, work to take care of and friends to talk to. You will forget about it soon enough but not tonight.

Tonight, for one last time, you will allow yourself to think about him and tell yourself it’s ok.

It is not like you did not know that it will come to this. You did. Along the way there were many red flags but the sense of familiarity made them seem like just a bunch of colors.

Familiarity is a strange thing, is it not?

This made my day! <3

This picture totally made my day! Thank you Eilynn!

Some people just have a way of making your day brighter and my kids aka my students can ALWAYS do that!

Is there someone in your life who brightens up your day by just being there? Let me know! 😀