At the start, there was a conversation…
A conversation you now wish you could recall, but all you can recall, is his smile.
There was something about that smile that was unbearably attractive. He was not a handsome man by any standards, but it was that smile, you tell yourself.
‘What was it about him that was attractive?’, you often ask yourself, but seem to find no answer.
You think you are going insane. It makes no sense after all.
Your friends tell you, it’s not you, it’s him. But that’s what friends do, they say things to make you feel better. ‘No’, you tell yourself, it was definitely him.
You pen down yet another entry in your diary. Cross out his name a couple of times and tell yourself, ‘it will be ok.’
In the morning there will be assignments to hand in, work to take care of and friends to talk to. You will forget about it soon enough but not tonight.
Tonight, for one last time, you will allow yourself to think about him and tell yourself it’s ok.
It is not like you did not know that it will come to this. You did. Along the way there were many red flags but the sense of familiarity made them seem like just a bunch of colors.
Familiarity is a strange thing, is it not?
Ria In The City 
In the study of psychology we believe that we’re sub-consciously drawn to what is familiar. My guess is so that we can resolve remaining issues, once and for all. It’s probably why so many people marry badly the first time out. They’re still needing to resolve issues. This is why if you study family dynamics you’ll see generational behavior patterns. It’s amazing.
It’s so true! Here’s to new beginnings and a better life! 🙂
Familiarity feels safer. It can be difficult to seek out the less familiar, or in other words, the less comfortable. Nice piece.
It’s not change that I am afraid of. It’s the process of getting wrecked that is not so much fun but I guess that’s how we grow! 🙂 Thank you Carrie!
There are also lessons lurking in the weeds, but until we master them, we repeat. Good post.
I hope I can master them sometime. Thank you for reading Nelle! 🙂
Familiarity is the answer to the comforting bond between people.
but it can be so weird! Sometimes you form all these bonds just to realize that it wasn’t worth the time or the effort.
I loved your “voice” on this one! And I hope that you believe, it will be OK =)
You know t, a stranger, I met on the subway, told me, ‘don’t hope, change it.’
So that’s exactly what I am going to do 🙂 xo
Also, I am so happy you like it!
Yeah, that’s my Ria! Good for you =)
And Paaaaalease! How could I not like it? I got brains, haven’t I…?
That too 😉