Lies

Lies.

Hello

They never do get you anywhere, now do they? We all lie from time to time. Don’t even bother denying it. You know you have. Heck, I know I have.

None of us are perfect but there is a line that shouldn’t be crossed, people who shouldn’t be hurt and things that shouldn’t be said or done.

When you claim to love someone, why lie?

You are sitting in a cafe, with your head in your hands, the cold wind sends chills up and down your spine. You shiver but the storm that is raging inside you renders you motionless, so much so that you do not even want to move to a warmer spot.

You sit and you wonder. Why are they lying to you? Is it necessary?

You start to question yourself. Do I intimidate him? Why does he feel the need to lie to me? All I ever did was to love him. Is that such a bad thing? You sit and wonder and that’s precisely what you have been doing for the past few months.

Every time you muster up the courage to call him out on his lies, something gets in the way. Maybe it’s your need to be loved or maybe you are just plain stupid, you can’t decide which.

All you know is that you love him and that you are afraid. So very afraid.

Afraid to lose him. Afraid that no one will care. Afraid that everything will cease to make sense.

Afraid. Yes, that’s what you are. Why though?

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A couple hundred unpublished posts later…

Everything takes time… We parted with those words… pfffftttt I don’t I can’t even allow myself to feel emotional anymore. It’s as if someone took it all away from me. I tried to put myself in your shoes and see how you will feel about the situation but I can’t; or maybe I just don’t want to anymore.

Screen shot 2012-08-09 at PM 06.00.53

As you grow up, you come to realize that sometimes you can’t stop people from leaving. All you can really do is to sit and watch and see if it goes anywhere.

Anyways, le blog is almost a year old, well slightly over a year old and I just wanted to drop by and say hi and promise to update more often and all that jazz. You see, there is this content that I want to post but I don’t know what to say about it. Should I tell stories? Should I just tell you about my day? Or what should I do really? TELL ME!

Somethings

Lea was quiet at first, she didn’t want to say anything.

Couple of times, she parted her lips but no sound came out. As he sat himself down across the table from her, all she wanted was to shake him up and tell him not to lie anymore.

She didn’t want to hurt him. In fact, even after all of his lies she wanted to be there for him, but clearly this wasn’t working.

Her brain screamed RUN but her heart told her otherwise. She sighed heavily and just tried to regain her sanity.

Sipping on her cup of tea, she thought about all the things she liked about him.

‘It’s not too bad,’ she thought to herself, ‘we all have our little quirks. Maybe just maybe he will have a change of heart.’

Oh what will she do…

****

So hey there lovely people! Haven’t blogged in forever! Have just been busy with school and work but here I am! Who is doing Nanowrimo this year? Let me know! I love you all! x

And the above is for Nanowrimo, I know this is not well edited and I am still working on things but I’ll get there, I hope!

A Fleeting Moment

In that fleeting moment, she wished the ground beneath her feet would open up and swallow her whole. She felt that if she wished hard enough, she could somehow will the ground to open up.

But of course it didn’t. It never does. Well, not when you really need it to at least.

She had a tendency to blabber, a tendency that never quite left her. A tendency she wished she didn’t have.

‘I will just say this and shut up’ was by far the most common thought she ever had.

‘You are a lady, be eloquent but say as little as possible’ she was told. However, it was something she never could do. To her, that did not even make sense.

‘Well, some day’ she told herself, ‘some day.’

It was just a fleeting moment after all.

Familiarity

At the start, there was a conversation…

A conversation you now wish you could recall, but all you can recall, is his smile.

There was something about that smile that was unbearably attractive. He was not a handsome man by any standards, but it was that smile, you tell yourself.

‘What was it about him that was attractive?’, you often ask yourself, but seem to find no answer.

You think you are going insane. It makes no sense after all.

Your friends tell you, it’s not you, it’s him. But that’s what friends do, they say things to make you feel better. ‘No’, you tell yourself, it was definitely him.

You pen down yet another entry in your diary. Cross out his name a couple of times and tell yourself, ‘it will be ok.’

In the morning there will be assignments to hand in, work to take care of and friends to talk to. You will forget about it soon enough but not tonight.

Tonight, for one last time, you will allow yourself to think about him and tell yourself it’s ok.

It is not like you did not know that it will come to this. You did. Along the way there were many red flags but the sense of familiarity made them seem like just a bunch of colors.

Familiarity is a strange thing, is it not?

Must Have Hair Product – Not Sponsored and Sh*t

I am not much of a beauty blogger. Hell! I don’t even know the next thing about beauty. Never used make up, never had manicures and… well you get the picture but OH MY GOD! I just found a product that I HAVE to share with you guys.

I have a serious fetish for top knots and Bored With Your Hair has just the product that I have been looking for!

I am sure those of you who have massive hair, and are serial hair scrunchie breakers, can really use this product. Well I am assuming that all of you love top knots. I mean, who doesn’t! FINE! I am exaggerating but this is so awesome!

Oh and Michelle Phan used it in one of her videos and her hair looked OH SO AWESOME! and she has excellent taste when it comes to fashion/beauty products!

Doesn’t the model on the packaging look a little like Sarah Jessica Parker? Hmmmm…

Oh and here is the man behind the product! Theodore Leaf! TA DA!

You can check out his videos on YouTube. He is, in one word, FABULOUS! I had a ball watching his videos!

Oh and while I am at it, I am giving away 1 free* copy of Jeff Goins’ book titled Wrecked. Just let me know the name of your favorite blog and why it is your favorite? 

Love you guys!

*Terms and conditions apply! I haven’t quite figured them out myself but it just makes it sound oh so official right? WHEEE!

A Page From My Diary

 

 

She was torn between doing the right thing and the wrong thing that felt so right.

‘Is the right thing really all that right?’ she asked herself, ‘or could it be that I am just imagining things?’

Lea hated her awkwardness at times and this was definitely one of those times.

She couldn’t believe she was the same person anymore. Who was this person really? All her life she had taken carefully measured steps, so what had changed in just a few months?

Just a couple of months ago she would have given up the world for James but now her memories and thoughts were clouded by visions of Christopher.

Christopher was all that James wasn’t; smart, refreshing and delightful. It was all in the eyes, she told herself. She wasn’t quite sure where this was going to take her but she was willing to find out…

 

Credits: Moi – Picture taken in Montreal